Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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