when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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