u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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