You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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