Just mADE A PArabola og urine
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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