yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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