drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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