I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
