he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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