Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
