All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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