I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
