basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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