You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
