easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
