Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
