North Korea, Best Korea!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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