so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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