There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
