I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
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Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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