i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
