so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
