Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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