Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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