HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
