swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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