Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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