I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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