you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary