You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?