Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"