Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome