When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
