I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
