so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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