Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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