I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
