well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
