It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
foreskin is a definite game changer
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
