So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
