He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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