it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
