I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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