You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
