this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
