Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
that is very illegal...i love you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize