Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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