WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
