so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize