You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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