yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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