Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
