I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
