D3 body, D1 cock
At least make sure they are 18
Why
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
