The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
