Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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