Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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