I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
a search helicopter?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
