good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
