M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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